Do you find that your self-care routine lacking? Do you spend multiple hours a week on pampering and recharging yourself and still feel drained? What if I told you that implementing a self-care routine that corresponds with your love language should help you feel ready to take on the world again?
In a previous post “What is your Primary Language?” I urged you to take the love language quiz to determine your primary and secondary love languages. If you haven’t already taken the free quiz, please go ahead and do that now. We’ll wait…
Many times we go through life depleted and feeling low, waiting for Friday so we can relax and recuperate from the grueling week just to start again on Monday. In this day and age where our value seems to be based on our accomplishments. We are so busy trying to be the perfect everything for others, we are left feeling like a soggy trampled paper bag on the floor. It’s no wonder anxiety and depressive disorders are on the rise. Look at our lives, jam packed with meetings, appointments, errands, kids, dog, spouse, deadlines, chores, “oh no, I forgot to pay the electric bill… again.” Sound familiar?
I remember a time when I thought self-care was something only lucky people got to indulge in. Lucky people who were able to be selfish, who had the time and the money to do things I could only daydream about while washing dishes or folding laundry. When I had discovered that self-care wasn’t selfish, but necessary, it was a game changer. Self-care is a necessary and mandatory function!! There are going to be times when you don’t feel like it. There are going to be times when you can’t afford to do what you normally do. There are going to be times when you are so bone dry that you only love on yourself when someone else pays attention to you, I pray you never get to this point. Letting yourself become this run down only allows you to become easy prey for a toxic encounter.
What type of self-care is right for me? Remember that quiz I asked you to take? This is where that comes into play. I’m sure I could journal, shop, organize, write affirmations on my bathroom mirror, and get massages all day, but the ones that coincide with my love languages will do the most good for my depleted heart. I have put together just a few things that you could do which correspond with each love language. These will help you feel refreshed and rejuvenated.
First and foremost, spend some time with God daily, even better, take God with you as you participate in your self-care routine. Everyone should listen to upbeat music, meditate, practice gratitude, and use aromatherapy. All of these things change your mindset allowing you to reset your mood and perception.
Acts of Service… This language is an interesting one, not only do you fill your heart by taking care of your day to day needs, but also by serving.
- Routines; putting all your home, vehicle, and personal (doctors and dentist) maintenance on a routine.
- Hire a service to get the things done for you that you don’t care to do or lack the ability to do yourself.
- Go get your nails, hair, eyebrows done.
- Take a class to learn something you find useful.
- Declutter your home, vehicle, work space, and personal life.
- Food prep, weekly menus, crock pot kits, or big batch baking.
- Start investing for your future, stocks, mutual funds, investment property.
- Pay off your debt.
- Get into a subscription service that helps take the load off of you; a meal delivery service, a grocery service, have a cleaning service come in once a week or once a month.
- Random acts of kindness are the big heart filler for this language being on the giving and receiving end. Pay for the next person’s breakfast at the drive thru, it’s an inexpensive way to make someone’s day. Do a kind deed for your neighbor who you have noticed needs a helping hand.
- Participate in an event for a favorite cause like; Habitat for Humanity, your local soup kitchen, church fundraising events, or helping out at your children’s or sibling’s school.
Gifts… This is the language that definitely benefits from rewards of shopping or special items.
- Make a reward chart and follow through on the goals set to receive the small or large gifts.
- Gift yourself classes of things you always wanted to learn.
- Give yourself a bucket list experience.
- Give yourself a weekend getaway.
- Small trinkets that commemorate life events or things you like; charm bracelets are good for this.
- Gadgets that make life easier.
- Gift yourself a savings bond or CD
- Gift yourself an investment property.
- Adding to your special collection.
- It really doesn’t matter how extravagant the gift is, as long as it is thoughtful and serves a purpose (even if it is to just brighten the room).
- Subscription box clubs. There is a box for everything!
- A floral subscription service
- A book club.
- A “something” of the Month club; wine, chocolate, sweets, snacks, tools, crafts, oh the choices are limitless.
- If you are a craftier person, make something for yourself.
Physical Touch… This language is all about the body.
- Treat yourself to a massage. Either go to a massage therapist or do it at home, there are lots of helpful products on the market to help you achieve your level of euphoria.
- When you get a haircut, get your hair washed also.
- Treat yourself to a facial.
- Get a manicure or pedicure with hard and foot massage.
- Go to your chiropractor and don’t forget to stay for stem.
- Find weighted or heavy bedding for the winter and something with a fun texture for the summer.
- Wrap up in a soft blanket.
- Soak in the bath.
- Wear comfortable yet good looking clothes and shoes.
- Partake in skin care that stimulates the blood flow like; dry brushing, fascia blasting, applying lotions or oils.
- Become physically active, team sports, exercise classes, gardening, landscaping, the latest workout video, self-defense classes, hiking, or even walking a circuit around your neighborhood.
Quality Time… This Love language of togetherness.
- Read or listen to audio books.
- Color, paint, draw.
- Bullet Journal.
- Watch a movie.
- Go for a walk.
- Take yourself out on a date.
- Accomplish things on your bucket list.
- Go out with friends.
- Unplug from all technology for a while.
- Take a class.
- Craft hobbies.
- Start an Etsy store.
- Take a break, be still for a few minutes.
- Explore nature.
- Play a video game.
- Play a board game.
- Solve a puzzle.
- Take a nap
Words of Affirmation… Sometimes we just need to see or hear the words.
- Keep a journal of uplifting quotes.
- Write or listen to daily affirmations.
- Meditate using positive “I am” affirmations.
- Leave yourself reaffirming notes around the house.
- Read or listen to inspirational stories with happy endings.
- Develop positive self talk.
- Write poetry, read poetry.
- Listen to motivational people.
- Send yourself greeting cards.
- Mirror work, complimenting and affirming yourself while looking in the mirror.
- Tell yourself: I love you.
- Be your own cheerleader.
- Write letters to your future self.
- Compliment yourself, always.
- Hang quotes all over your home that make you feel good.
There are many more ways that you can use your love languages for self-care. I hope that these will get you started. We all deserve to be loved, especially by the person we will spend the rest of our lives with…ourselves.