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For many states, public school has just started back. All the school supplies are on sale. It’s time for new binders and pencils. And of course new clothes to cover those kids who hit a growth spurt over the summer.
They are all excited to see their friends again and you get to see the other parents again. Back to early mornings and routines.
We spent the entire summer with these little people and now they are off again to the land of learning. Whether it be preschool, high school, or graduate school I’m the weepy mom in the parking lot.
Bare with me a moment, I know this isn’t a mom blog. But I’m sure a lot of us are parents, am I right?
My little one started Kindergarten this week. I’m going to be super transparent here. Since he is my youngest and probably my last little one, not only do I mourn his babyhood but I also grieve a little bit for my last time in that stage of motherhood.
Some of us mourn their babyhood in different ways, and some celebrate the next school year. I used to know a woman who would host a champagne brunch on the first day of school for all the parents of her kids’ friends. She said they all had a great time and it was a huge support for those weepy parents like me.
It’s totally normal to mourn the previous stage in your children’s or your lives. I feel that if you take the time to process your emotions as the kids grow, that when they are are grown and moving out it won’t be such a blow to your heart. No doubt about it that you’ll miss them and be happy and sad to see them go. We learn how to continually left go as they grow.
We need to remember that we are more than just a spouse, just a parent, just a man/woman. We are whole dynamic complex humans that have an obligation to care for and nurture ourselves too.
I have heard of empty nesters that go into a deep depression when their kids move out of the house. Many times this is because we wrap our lives and our identities around our children, when they are grown, what then is our purpose?. We aren’t Bob, Susan, Tamie – We are Luka’s Mom, Chloe’s Dad. We are more than just the caretakers of these small humans.
So what we are going to do is this… grieve a little, celebrate a little, and also take time today to be one with ourselves. We have to be friends with ourselves without feeling guilty. We can miss our munchkins and still have a good time.
Go have coffee with another parent. Go take that exercise class. Go for a walk. Go feed the birds. Read that book. Take yourself to breakfast or lunch. Go to the library and browse the grown up books. Take a nap. Write in your Journal, Work on a craft. Go for a ride. The possibilities are endless! You just got to be there after school to ask them about their day.
Going back to school is inevitable, be happy they are embarking on a new adventure. It’s okay to miss them. Take some time to grieve the season they just finished. Don’t let it consume you. Instead take the time to build onto yourself. We’ll make it, it will be alright.
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