The Dark Passenger

This could mean something different to everyone.  To fans of the hit Showtime show Dexter, it is what he lovingly nicknamed his Psychopathy.  Today I’m going to address another Dark passenger… Depression.

With suicide on the rise among people of all ages.  More recently this silent killer is rampaging in public through the entertainment industry.  More and more of us are seeing how hard this life really is, and how more people can’t find a way out of their suffering.

People who you never know their struggles because they hide them so well behind a smile and a mask of happiness that only they really know to be a total lie.  People who seem to have it all yet are so empty inside.  Those who feel the pull into the abyss of numb hopelessness.

I have struggled with depression for most of my life.  It is not an easy rider on this adventure that we call life.  There have been many times I have been pulled down.  As much as I struggled to climb up out of that deep dark pit, the more it has wrapped it’s cold tendrils around my ankle to pull me under the veil of darkness just as the warm sunlight touches my face.  That in itself feels like defeat.  Soon though I gather my courage thinking that this can’t be all there is.  I attempt that climb again to the warm surface above.

Many of us are lead to believe that we are weak for reaching out for help.  That is the biggest lie ever to knock us back down into that pit of dark silently loud hell.  Reach for help!  I did!  I’m glad I did.  Sometimes grabbing the offered hand in the darkness that pulls you up is the hand that saves your life.

I’m learning now how some depression is caused by stuffing our emotions, abuse, and lack of boundaries.    Sometimes depression is a symptom of another issue like an autoimmune disease, another mental illness, or a personality disorder. We can escape that black pit of despair and hopelessness.  Many times self care can help us to move toward the warm sunlight.

If your depression is a symptom of another disorder please see a professional.

We need to find an outlet.  Go to therapy, find a support group or make one.  Find a way to creatively express yourself, check out my post on Hobbies that save Us.  What do you love to do?  Do that!  Music has forever sang to our hearts and souls.  listen to music, and dance like no one is watching you.

This is a hard one, forgive those that have abused you.  Many of us especially me, thought that forgiveness meant you pardon and forget what they did to continue your relationship as if it never happened.  Guess what my friends… that’s another lie to keep us in emotional hell.  It’s complete and utter horse manure and usually spewed by the people that abuse us the most so that they can continue to do so.  Forgiving them lets go of your anger bit by bit.  Never forget the lessons you learned by their actions and words.  You can forget what they did, but never forget the lesson.  Then we must let these people go by creating boundaries.

Boundaries are a fantastic way to say “Self, I love you.”  We create boundaries to teach others what you will and won’t tolerate from a relationship with them.  In like manner, it teaches them what to expect from us.  Boundaries form self discipline and give you those lovely red flags that shoot up warning us of things that aren’t quite right.  We know those flags that we previously ignored.

Depression takes time to overcome and at times returns with extra tendril like arms to  ensnare us and pull us back into that dark pit.  This is why we absolutely must be consistent with our program.  Keep going to therapy.  Keep going to group or meeting with your friend for coffee.  Keep reaching out.  Keep boogieing in your kitchen.  Keep singing in your car on the way to work.  You’re fighting the good fight.  You will make it.

Below is a link to Suicide hotlines all over the world.  If you need them, please reach out.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.