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September 10, 2021
Have you ever had a friend who really stressed you out with their constant red flag behavior? Maybe a partner who just couldn’t stop hoisting up those red flags on a daily basis. Let’s make our lives less stressful and more enjoyable. How do we do that? We periodically need to clean out our friends lists on Facebook, twitter, Instagram, and in real life.
We all have a number of toxic friends. You know the friends that make you feel bad about yourself. The friends who stop talking to you when you hold them accountable. The friends that leave you feeling drained because their drama is just overwhelmingly the center of the universe. Or maybe the friends who just cannot grow up and handle any type of responsibility.
Maybe you are the one who has a toxic trait or two. To be completely transparent I know I have a couple of these traits. The difference is knowing you have the trait and actively working towards changing it. What are these traits? Let’s jump into them.
Attention Seeking. Their news or problems are more important that yours. They are always trying to one up you. They NEED to have all the attention all the time. If they don’t they become very jealous.
Lying. If they don’t have anything that will get them the attention they seek, they will make it up with just enough truth sprinkled in to make it believable.
No Boundaries. They will get all up in your space and business whenever they want. They borrow your things without asking. They disrespect all your rules and expect you to be alright with it.
Victim Mentality. Everyone is out to get them. No one likes them. Poor me. Do you know someone like that? Someone who no matter what they do they are on the receiving end of bad luck or someone’s wrath.
Take Advantage. Do you have a friend who it always asking for a favor but never returns them? Please do this or that for me, but when you need something they aren’t there. They ask and ask knowing your heart can’t say no.
One Sided. They are too busy for you., but will call you at 3am to talk about their problems You listen to their problems, and everything in your relationship is all about them. What they want to do. Where they want to go. Your needs, wants, and feelings don’t matter to them.
Gaslighting. In other words Crazy Making. They try to tell you that you did or didn’t see what you thought you didn’t or did see. They say you said or didn’t say something. They try to confuse you and make you doubt yourself. Leaving you wondering if you are going crazy.
Projection. If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, this happens a lot. Where they accuse you of doing what they are doing. I also call this “Confessional” What better way to find out what they are up than to listen to what they are blaming you for. Projections are Confessions!
Accountability. They blame shift or lie. They always have an excuse as to why something isn’t their fault, isn’t their job, isn’t their responsibility to correct. One of those people who blames you for being upset for their behavior.
Critical. You just can’t do anything right and neither can anyone else… according to them.
Control. It has to be their way or else. A toxic person will try to control your actions, your thinking, and your emotions through any combination of the other 10 or more Red flags.
These 11 red flags (although there are many more) definitely are flaring ones. A lot of us have some of these traits to a certain extent. It is up to you if you want to continue a relationship with someone who display many Red Flags.
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