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Updated September 12, 2020
What is Boring Self Care?
Boring self care is doing the things for yourself that you dislike or dread doing for yourself. Things like running errands, shopping, cooking, cleaning, paying bills, car maintenance, working out, and going to the doctor. Some of us also dread the pampering type of self care.
I was recently talking with a friend. She said to me that self care is hard. She is absolutely right. I have also found in my own life that self care is hard. Self care really is difficult, how do we find the time and wherewithal to do the things to maintain ourselves?
We are brought up seeing either the parent who sacrifices most self care to be a care taker for the children or the parent who chooses them selves over all things including their children. If seems as though we either had a parent that was to one extreme or the other. It was hard to find parents that balanced out their self care. Mine were the sacrificial mother and absentee father. In turn I also became the sacrificial mother because this is what I saw growing up.
Parents are supposed to have a sacrificial type of love for their children. We give up many things for them, but it should never be to the point to where we cannot care for them or ourselves.
Children very much learn from our example. All of my grown children have learned to feel guilty for taking care of themselves not because I shamed them, but because they watched me do it to myself. Nowadays I push them more to take care of themselves.
Another reason we neglect ourselves is because we just don’t want to or like doing what needs to be done. You know what I mean, those days, you don’t want to put pants on because you don’t want to go to the store to buy milk for your cereal because you don’t want to cook. Who has those days? I know I do. Can we just eat leftovers again?
I’m so glad my UPS delivery driver doesn’t judge me when he arrives at 5:30 pm and I’m still in my pajama pants. Can I use the excuse that I work from home to stay in my jammies all day?
The third reason we neglect our self care is because we think or feel that we are unworthy of it. I know this sounds extreme and dysfunctional, but it is more common than we think especially where depression, mental illness, personal injury, or personality disorders have had their way with our thinking. I hope you know that you are worthy of being cared for and loved.
This is going to be a ten installment series of how to handle your boring self care. I hope to offer you suggestions that are easy to apply to how you go about getting these things accomplished for yourself. Somethings can be super easy to implement and some might take a little more effort.
I believe that the more you push yourself to perform these tasks for yourself, the more they will become routine. In time taking care of yourself will become automatic and a habit you will carry with you for a long time. I hope that we can change your truth just a bit to make your next chapter more fulfilling.
Until next time,
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